" Letting go "

 

“ Letting go “

When you first have children they talk about the challenges of parenting....                                                       the struggles of a baby waking in the night,                                                                                                            the toddler who won’t stay in their bed,  the cost of childcare, injuries from sports...                                                                                                              Having to take off work to pick them up from school when they don’t feel well,                                          helping them with homework, a messy house, the never ending laundry,                                                            the cost to buy school clothes, packing their lunches....

You watch their eyes light up on Christmas morning....                                                                                      and try to soak in the magic of those moments.

You coach them in sports, rushing to practices and ballgames...and tote them all over the country to let them play the game they love...no matter how exhausting or expensive it becomes.

Life is just so busy that you rarely even stop to think what the end of those days look like.

In fact, it’s not really even something you can wrap your mind around.

You go into it thinking that 18-20 years sounds like a long time....

Then suddenly hours turn into days...days into months...and months into years.

That little person that used to crawl up next to you in bed and cuddle up to watch cartoons...suddenly becomes this young adult who hugs you in the hallway as they come and go.

And the chaos and laughter that used to echo throughout your home....gets filled with silence and solitude.

You’ve learned how to parent a child who needs you to care for and protect them....but have no clue how the whole “letting go” thing is supposed to work.

So you hold on as tight as you can...wondering how time passed so quickly...feeling guilty that you missed something....

Because even though you had 20 years.....it just somehow doesn’t seem like it was enough.

You ask yourself so many questions...

Did you teach them the right lessons?

Did you read them enough books as a child?

Spend enough time playing with them?

How many school parties did you have to miss?

Do they really know how much you love them?

What could I have done better as a parent?

.....When it’s time for them to go, it all hits you like a ton of bricks.

And all you can do is pray....hope....and trust that God will protect them as they start to make their way into the world alone.

Parenting is by far the most amazing experience of your life....that at times leaves you exhilarated....while others leave you heartbroken.

But one thing is certain.....it’s never enough time...

So for all the parents with young children...whose days are spent trying to figure out how to make it through the madness...

Exhausted day in and day out...

Soak. It. All. In.

Because one day....all those crazy days full of cartoons, snuggles, sleep overs, Christmas morning magic, ballgames, practices and late night dinners...

All come to an end.

And you’re left hoping that you did enough right, so that when they spread their wings....

They’ll fly...

 

" My Soul has a Hat "

 

MY SOUL HAS A HAT

I counted my years
And realized that I have
Less time to live by,
Than I have lived so far.

I feel like a child who won a pack of candies: at first he ate them with pleasure
But when he realized that there was little left, he began to taste them intensely.

I have no time for endless meetings
where the statutes, rules, procedures and internal regulations are discussed,
knowing that nothing will be done.

I no longer have the patience
To stand absurd people who,
despite their chronological age,
have not grown up.

My time is too short:
I want the essence,
My spirit is in a hurry.
I do not have much candy
In the package anymore.

I want to live next to humans,
Very realistic people who know
How to laugh at their mistakes,
Who are not inflated by their own triumphs
And who take responsibility for their actions.
In this way, human dignity is defended
And we live in truth and honesty.                                                                                                                     It is the essentials that make life useful.                                                                                                                                               

I want to surround myself with people                                                                                                         Who know how to touch the hearts of those whom hard strokes of life
have learned to grow with sweet touches of the soul.

Yes, I’m in a hurry.
I’m in a hurry to live with the intensity that only maturity can give.
I do not intend to waste any of the remaining desserts.

I am sure they will be exquisite,
Much more than those eaten so far.
                                                                                                                                                                   My goal is to reach the end satisfied
And at peace with my loved ones and my conscience.

We have two lives
And the second begins when you realize you only have one.

By Mario de Andrade

see also the links that I sent for :

1. Nightingale Serenade  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dXApBvgUNBQ&ab_channel=TatianaBlue

2. Take Time 

" the Hill we Climb" - Amanda Gorman

 

Gorman

“The Hill We Climb”    Amanda Gorman

When day comes we ask ourselves, where can we find light in this never-ending shade? The loss we carry, a sea we must wade. We’ve braved the belly of the beast, we’ve learned that quiet isn’t always peace and the norms and notions of what just is, isn’t always justice. And yet the dawn is ours before we knew it, somehow we do it, somehow we’ve weathered and witnessed a nation that isn’t broken but simply unfinished.

We, the successors of a country and a time where a skinny black girl descended from slaves and raised by a single mother can dream of becoming president only to find herself reciting for one. And, yes, we are far from polished, far from pristine, but that doesn’t mean we are striving to form a union that is perfect, we are striving to forge a union with purpose, to compose a country committed to all cultures, colours, characters and conditions of man.

So we lift our gazes not to what stands between us, but what stands before us. We close the divide because we know to put our future first, we must first put our differences aside. We lay down our arms so we can reach out our arms to one another, we seek harm to none and harmony for all.

Let the globe, if nothing else, say this is true: that even as we grieved, we grew, even as we hurt, we hoped, that even as we tired, we tried, that we’ll forever be tied together victorious, not because we will never again know defeat but because we will never again sow division.

Scripture tells us to envision that everyone shall sit under their own vine and fig tree and no one should make them afraid. If we’re to live up to our own time, then victory won’t lie in the blade, but in in all of the bridges we’ve made.

That is the promise to glade, the hill we climb if only we dare it because being American is more than a pride we inherit, it’s the past we step into and how we repair it. We’ve seen a force that would shatter our nation rather than share it. That would destroy our country if it meant delaying democracy, and this effort very nearly succeeded. But while democracy can periodically be delayed, but it can never be permanently defeated.

In this truth, in this faith, we trust, for while we have our eyes on the future, history has its eyes on us, this is the era of just redemption we feared in its inception we did not feel prepared to be the heirs of such a terrifying hour but within it we found the power to author a new chapter, to offer hope and laughter to ourselves, so while once we asked how can we possibly prevail over catastrophe, now we assert how could catastrophe possibly prevail over us.

We will not march back to what was but move to what shall be, a country that is bruised but whole, benevolent but bold, fierce and free, we will not be turned around or interrupted by intimidation because we know our inaction and inertia will be the inheritance of the next generation, our blunders become their burden. But one thing is certain: if we merge mercy with might and might with right, then love becomes our legacy and change our children’s birthright.

So let us leave behind a country better than the one we were left, with every breath from my bronze, pounded chest, we will raise this wounded world into a wondrous one, we will rise from the golden hills of the West, we will rise from the windswept Northeast where our forefathers first realized revolution, we will rise from the lake-rimmed cities of the Midwestern states, we will rise from the sun baked South, we will rebuild, reconcile, and recover in every known nook of our nation in every corner called our country our people diverse and beautiful will emerge battered and beautiful, when the day comes we step out of the shade aflame and unafraid, the new dawn blooms as we free it, for there is always light if only we’re brave enough to see it, if only we’re brave enough to be it.

 

" The World is Closed today "

 

The World is Closed Today

 

They said the world was closed today

So I went to have a look,

I found it with the shutters down

And the phone was off the hook.

So I stood there for a little while

But no one was around,

Then silence came and startled me

With the most alarming sound.

I asked him where the others were,

And why the streets were bare,

He whispered ‘Life had ran away

While death was playing there’

‘Oh no’ I said ‘It can’t be true

For life is not afraid’

‘But no one ever goes’ he said

‘Where death has ever played.’

I understood and walked away

As Hope was standing there

With Courage in her afterglow

And the sunlight in her hair.

She said ‘Go home to those you love

This is no place to be,

For if we walk these streets today

Then no one shall be free’.

She threw her light to lead the way

And showed me where to go,

The very road that life had gone

Where the future flowers grow.

Then death showed me another way

But I didn’t want to look,

So I stumbled home in time for tea

And I read another book.

It was called The World is Closed Today

And the streets we shouldn’t roam,

The first line said ‘Just please be safe’

And the ending - ‘Stay at Home’

Author unknown

Stay Safe. Keep others Safe.

 

Reflections for " Staying at Home "

 

‘This too shall pass.’

 

There will be some very painful moments in your life, my friend.

There will be moments, days even, when the sun doesn’t seem to rise in your world and the breath feels sucked right out of your lungs.

When food has no taste, the world has no joy and everything seems like an effort too far.

Yes, my friend, there will be very painful moments in your life.

But you will get through them

‘This too shall pass.’

Because life has a way of throwing you a rope, just at the very moment when you thought you couldn’t swim another stroke.

All you have to do is grab it.

Then one day, as is the way of this life, the sun will suddenly beat down on your face again and the air will feel fresher than it ever did.

And there will be laughter. And love. And joy. So much joy.

And life will be sweet, like summer after a long winter. A winter that was so dark each colour that appears, feels like the first time you are seeing it.

This is when you must live. Really live.

For, just as the bad times do not last forever neither do the good.

‘This too shall pass.’

But that is life.

So, embrace the joy when it comes and let fear slide away. And when the dark times come around again – and they will – remember you have what you need to survive. And you will survive my friend.

You really will.

Keep the important people close and focus on what truly matters and you will find yourself dragged to safety, each and every time the storms come.

And on those days, when your sun is high in the sky but you notice another facing bad weather, you drop your raft and you go to them.

And if they won’t climb in with you, to safety, you simply stay with them in the stormy water till the sun rises again.

And it will.

it always does.

Donna Ashworth

Spare a thought for our Health Care Workers.

 

The respect is gone. The appreciation is gone. The understanding and patience is gone.

The “thank you so much for working through this” has been replaced by “this is ridiculous”.

Understandably the frustration felt by patients and their relatives is at an all time high. The annoyed eye rolls and huffy sighs when you tell them “it shouldn’t be much longer,” “we are doing the best that we can” are really starting to chip away at our morale.

The free coffee and meals are a thing of the past. Not sure when I last heard a “Thank You.”

The hotel lights in the shape of hearts aren’t on anymore.

The neighbours that waved us off to work and told us to “stay safe” have gone back inside.

And the local news is back to pointing out our short comings even though the number of patients that we care for has doubled.

We are still here.                                                                                                                                                          

We are still fighting.                                                                                                                                       

We are working harder than we ever have.

We are exhausted.

We are frustrated.

We are frightened because we may take this home to our Loved Ones.

We are so emotionally and physically drained.

We are skipping breaks and eating whatever is handy just to keep us going.

We are going in early and coming home late.

We are working too many double shifts.

We are missing time with our families.

We are doing THE. BEST. THAT. WE. CAN.

We aren’t “healthcare heroes” anymore.                                                                                                                                                                                                   We have become slaves to this pandemic, and it is really exhausting.

 

Welcome 2021

 

At the End of the Year

The particular mind of the ocean
Filling the coastline’s longing
With such brief harvest
Of elegant, vanishing waves
Is like the mind of time
Opening us shapes of days.

As this year draws to its end,
We give thanks for the gifts it brought
And how they became inlaid within
Where neither time nor tide can touch them.

The days when the veil lifted
And the soul could see delight;
When a quiver caressed the heart
In the sheer exuberance of being here.

Surprises that came awake
In forgotten corners of old fields
Where expectation seemed to have quenched.

The slow, brooding times
When all was awkward
And the wave in the mind
Pierced every sore with salt.

The darkened days that stopped
The confidence of the dawn.

Days when beloved faces shone brighter
With light from beyond themselves;
And from the granite of some secret sorrow
A stream of buried tears loosened.

We bless this year for all we learned,
For all we loved and lost
And for the quiet way it brought us
Nearer to our invisible destination.

John O’Donohue, Irish poet and philosopher

Angela’s Song

Dolores Riordan (Cranberries)

Rest with me
We’ll be warm and free to dream
Of all the things yet to come
For you my little one

Look up high and see
All the stars above you and me
They shine a light on all the things to come
For you my little one

Stay with me
Forget the cold streets of Limerick city
Let’s drift away and sing our song
And dream on and on

Lay with me
Let us sing a sweet melody
Of all the things yet to come
For you my little one

Look up high and see
All the stars above you and me
They shine a light on all the things to come
For you my little one

Look up high and see
All the stars above you and me
They shine a light on all the things to come
For you my little one

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RCw1xxeNZJk&ab_channel=JustaSarah

Grandma taught me everything about Christmas. and Christmas Lights

 

On Santa's Team

My grandma taught me everything about Christmas. I was just a kid. I remember tearing across town on my bike to visit her on the day my big sister dropped the bomb: "There is no Santa Claus," jeered my sister. "Even dummies know that!"

My grandma was not the gushy kind, never had been. I fled to her that day because I knew she would be straight with me. I knew Grandma always told the truth, and I knew that the truth always went down a whole lot easier when swallowed with one of her world-famous cinnamon buns.

Grandma was home, and the buns were still warm. Between bites, I told her everything. She was ready for me.

"No Santa Claus!" she snorted. "Ridiculous! Don't believe it. That rumour has been going around for years, and it makes me mad, plain mad. Now, put on your coat, and let's go."

"Go? Go where, Grandma?" I asked. I hadn't even finished my second cinnamon bun.

"Where" turned out to be Kerby's General Store, the one store in town that had a little bit of just about everything. As we walked through its doors, Grandma handed me ten dollars. That was a bundle in those days.

"Take this money," she said, "and buy something for someone who needs it. I'll wait for you in the car." Then she turned and walked out of Kerby's.

I was only eight years old. I'd often gone shopping with my mother, but never had I shopped for anything all by myself. The store seemed big and crowded, full of people scrambling to finish their Christmas shopping. For a few moments I just stood there, confused, clutching that ten-dollar bill, wondering what to buy, and who on earth to buy it for. I thought of everybody I knew: my family, my friends, my neighbours, the kids at school, the people who went to my church.

I was just about thought out, when I suddenly thought of Bobbie Decker. He was a kid with bad breath and messy hair, and he sat right behind me in Mrs. Pollock's grade-two class. Bobbie Decker didn't have a coat. I knew that because he never went out for recess during the winter. His mother always wrote a note, telling the teacher that he had a cough; but all we kids knew that Bobbie Decker didn't have a cough, and he didn't have a coat.

I fingered the ten-dollar bill with growing excitement. I would buy Bobbie Decker a coat. I settled on a red corduroy one that had a hood to it. It looked real warm, and he would like that. I didn't see a price tag, but ten dollars ought to buy anything. I put the coat and my ten-dollar bill on the counter and pushed them toward the lady behind it.

She looked at the coat, the money, and me. "Is this a Christmas present for someone?" she asked kindly. "Yes," I replied shyly. "It's ... for Bobbie. He's in my class, and he doesn't have a coat." The nice lady smiled at me. I didn't get any change, but she put the coat in a bag and wished me a Merry Christmas.

That evening, Grandma helped me wrap the coat in Christmas paper and ribbons, and write, "To Bobbie, From Santa Claus" on it ... Grandma said that Santa always insisted on secrecy.

Then she drove me over to Bobbie Decker's house, explaining as we went that I was now and forever officially one of Santa's helpers. Grandma parked down the street from Bobbie's house, and she and I crept noiselessly and hid in the bushes by his front walk.

Suddenly, Grandma gave me a nudge. "All right, Santa Claus," she whispered, "get going."

I took a deep breath, dashed for his front door, threw the present down on his step, pounded his doorbell twice and flew back to the safety of the bushes and Grandma. Together we waited breathlessly in the darkness for the front door to open. Finally it did, and there stood Bobbie. He looked down, looked around, picked up his present, took it inside and closed the door.

Forty years haven't dimmed the thrill of those moments spent shivering, beside my grandma, in Bobbie Decker's bushes. That night, I realized that those awful rumours about Santa Claus were just what Grandma said they were: Ridiculous!

Santa was alive and well ... AND WE WERE ON HIS TEAM!

CHRISTMAS LIGHTS

Christmas night, another fight
Tears, we cried a flood
Got all kinds of poison in
Of poison in my blood

I took my feet to Oxford Street
Trying to right a wrong
Just walk away, those windows say
But I can't believe she's gone

When you're still waiting for the snow to fall
Doesn't really feel like Christmas at all

Up above, candles on air flicker
Oh, they flicker and they float
And I'm up here holdin' on
To all those chandeliers of hope

Like some drunken Elvis singin'
I go singin' out of tune
Sayin' how I always loved you, darlin'
And I always will

Oh, when you're still waiting for the snow to fall
It doesn't really feel like Christmas at all
Still waiting for the snow to fall
It doesn't really feel like Christmas at all

Those Christmas lights light up the street
Down where the sea and city meet
May all your troubles soon be gone
Oh, Christmas lights, keep shinin' on

Those Christmas lights light up the street
Maybe they'll bring her back to me
And then all my troubles will be gone
Oh, Christmas lights, keep shinin' on

Oh, Christmas lights, light up the street
Light up the fireworks in me
May all your troubles soon be gone
Those Christmas lights keep shinin' on

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7dSwQd4aEU&ab_channel=KevinMurray