Holly Butcher 1990 - 2018
A bit of life advice from Holly
It’s a strange thing to realise and
accept your mortality at 26 years young. It’s just one of those things you
ignore. The days tick by and you just expect they will keep on coming; Until
the unexpected happens. I always imagined myself growing old, wrinkled and
grey- most likely caused by the beautiful family (lots of kiddies) I planned on
building with the love of my life. I want that so bad it hurts.
That’s the thing about life; It is
fragile, precious and unpredictable and each day is a gift, not a given
right.
I’m 27 now. I don’t want to go. I love my life. I am happy. I owe that
to my loved ones. But the control is out of my hands.
I haven’t started this ‘note before I
die’ so that death is feared - I like the fact that we are mostly ignorant to
it’s inevitability. Except when I want to talk about it and it is treated like
a ‘taboo’ topic that will never happen to any of us. That’s been a bit tough. I
just want people to stop worrying so much about the small, meaningless stresses in life
and try to remember that we all have the same fate after it all so do what you
can to make your time feel worthy and great, minus the bullshit.
I have dropped lots of my thoughts
below as I have had a lot of time to ponder life these last few months. Of
course it’s the middle of the night when these random things pop in my head
most!
Those times you are whinging about
ridiculous things (something I have noticed so much these past few months),
just think about someone who is really facing a problem. Be grateful for your
minor issue and get over it. It’s okay to acknowledge that something is
annoying but try not to carry on about it and negatively affect other people’s
days.
Once you do that, get
out there and take a freaking big breath of that fresh Aussie air deep
in your lungs, look at how blue the sky is and how green the trees are; It is
so beautiful. Think how lucky you are to be able to do just that - breathe.
You might have got caught in bad
traffic today, or had a bad sleep because your beautiful babies kept you awake,
or your hairdresser cut your hair too short. Your new fake nails might have got
a chip, your boobs are too small, or you have cellulite on your arse and your
belly is wobbling.
Let all that shit go. I swear you will
not be thinking of those things when it is your turn to go. It is all SO
insignificant when you look at life as a whole. I’m watching my body waste away
right before my eyes with nothing I can do about it and all I
wish for now is that I could have just one more Birthday or Christmas with my
family, or just one more day with my partner and dog. Just one more.
I hear people complaining about how
terrible work is or about how hard it is to exercise - Be grateful you are physically
able to work and exercise may seem like such trivial things ... until
your body doesn’t allow you to do either of them.
I tried to live a healthy life, in
fact, that was probably my major passion. Appreciate your good health and
functioning body- even if it isn’t your ideal size. Look after it and embrace
how amazing it is. Move it and nourish it with fresh food. Don’t obsess over
it.
Remember there are more aspects to
good health than the physical body. Work just as hard on finding your mental,
emotional and spiritual happiness too. That way you might realise just
how insignificant and unimportant having this stupidly portrayed perfect social
media body really is. While on this topic, delete any account that pops up
on your news feeds that gives you any sense of feeling shit about yourself.
Friend or not. Be ruthless for your own well-being.
Be grateful for each day you don’t have
pain and even the days where you are unwell with man flu, a sore back or a
sprained ankle, accept it is shit but be thankful it isn’t life threatening and
will go away.
Whinge less, people! . And help
each other more.
Give, give, give. It is true that
you gain more happiness doing things for others than doing them for yourself. I
wish I did this more. Since I have been sick, I have met the most incredibly
giving and kind people and been the receiver of the most thoughtful and loving
words and support from my family, friends and strangers; More than I could I
ever give in return. I will never forget this and will be forever grateful to
all of these people.
It is a weird thing having money to
spend at the end. When you’re dying, it’s not a time you go out and buy material
things that you usually would, like a new dress. It makes you think how silly
it is that we think it is worth spending so much money on new clothes and
‘things’ in our lives.
Buy your friend something kind
instead of another dress, beauty product or jewellery for
that next wedding. 1. No-one cares if you wear the same thing twice 2. It feels
good. Take them out for a meal, or better yet, cook them a meal. Give/ buy them a plant, a massage or a
candle and tell them you love them.
Value other people’s time. Don’t keep them
waiting because you are shit at being on time. Get ready earlier if you are one
of those people and appreciate that your friends want to share their time with
you, not sit by themselves, waiting on a mate. You will gain respect too! Amen
sister.
This year, our family agreed to do no
presents and despite the tree looking rather sad and empty (I nearly cracked
Christmas Eve!), it was so nice because people didn’t have the pressure of
shopping and the effort went into writing a nice card for each other. Plus
imagine my family trying to buy me a present knowing they would probably end up
with it themselves. strange! It might seem lame but those cards mean more to me
than any impulse purchase could. Mind you, it was also easier to do in our
house because we had no little kiddies there. Anyway, moral of the story-
presents are not needed for a meaningful Christmas. Moving on.
Use your money on experiences. Or at least don’t
miss out on experiences because you spent all your money on material shit.
Put in the effort to do that day trip
to the beach you keep putting off. Dip your feet in the water and dig your toes
in the sand. Wet your face with salt water.
Get amongst nature.
Try just enjoying and being in
moments rather than capturing them through the screen of your phone. Life isn’t meant
to be lived through a screen nor is it about getting the perfect photo.. enjoy
the bloody moment, people! Stop trying to capture it for everyone else.
Random rhetorical question. Are those several hours you spend doing your
hair and make up each day or to go out for one night really worth it? I’ve
never understood this about females 
🤔.
Get up early sometimes and listen to
the birds while you watch the beautiful colours the sun makes as it rises.
Listen to music. really listen.
Music is therapy. Old is best.
Cuddle your dog. Far out, I will
miss that.
Talk to your friends. Put down your
phone. Are they doing okay?
Travel if it’s your desire, don’t if it’s
not.
Work to live, don’t live to work.
Seriously, do what makes your heart
feel happy.
Eat the cake. Zero guilt.
Say no to things you really don’t
want to do.
Don’t feel pressured to do what other
people might think is a fulfilling life.. you might want a mediocre
life and that is so okay.
Tell your loved ones you love them
every time you get the chance and love them with everything you
have.
Also, remember if something is making
you miserable, you do have the power to change it - in work or love or
whatever it may be. Have the guts to change. You don’t know how much time
you’ve got on this earth so don’t waste it being miserable. I know that is said
all the time but it couldn’t be more true.
Anyway, that’s just this one young
gals life advice. Take it or leave it, I don’t mind!
Oh and one last thing, if you can, do a
good deed for humanity (and myself) and start regularly donating blood.
It will make you feel good with the added bonus of saving lives. I feel like it
is something that is so overlooked considering every donation can save 3 lives!
That is a massive impact each person can have and the process really is so
simple.
Blood donation (more bags than I
could keep up with counting) helped keep me alive for an extra year - a year I
will be forever grateful that I got to spend it here on Earth with my family,
friends and dog. A year I had some of the greatest times of my life.
..’Til we meet again. Holly
