Tuesday, 31 December 2019

" I am the New Year "



I am the New Year ...
I am an unspoiled page in your book of time.
I am your next chance at the art of living.

I am your opportunity to practice
what you have learned about life
during the last twelve months.

All that you sought
and didn't find is hidden in me,
waiting for you to search it out
with more determination.

All the good that you tried for
and didn't achieve is mine to grant
when you have fewer conflicting desires.

All that you dreamed but didn't dare to do,
all that you hoped but did not will,
all the faith that you claimed but did not have -
these slumber lightly,
waiting to be awakened by the touch of a strong purpose.

I am your opportunity to make all things new.

I am the New Year!

Author Unknown ---




Some Challenging quotes for the New Year

"Instead of putting up fences, build bridges. Build bridges to each other with no physical obstacles. “

"Procrastination is a killer of dreams, you keep saying I will do, I will do, but you never start. Take the step and start. You are the author of your life and only you can change your situation." 


"There's no need to be perfect to inspire others. Let people get inspired by how you deal with your imperfections."


During very difficulty times, we tend to forget that life has its ups and downs, causing us to lose ourselves in the process. It is completely okay to feel upset, but during those times we have to remember to search for the voice inside that tells us that we can and will survive through anything.


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Sunday, 29 December 2019

A Silent Tragedy


A SILENT TRAGEDY
There is a silent tragedy that is unfolding today in our homes, and concerns our most precious jewels: our children. Our children are in a devastating emotional state! In the last 15 years, researchers have given us increasingly alarming statistics on a sharp and steady increase in childhood mental illness that is now reaching epidemic proportions:
Statistics do not lie:
• 1 in 5 children have mental health problems
• A 43% increase in ADHD has been noted
• A 37% increase in adolescent depression has been noted
• There has been a 200% increase in the suicide rate in children aged 10 to 14
What is happening and what are we doing wrong?
Today's children are being over-stimulated and over-gifted with material objects, but they are deprived of the fundamentals of a healthy childhood, such as:
• Emotionally available parents
• Clearly defined limits
• Responsibilities
• Balanced nutrition and adequate sleep
• Movement in general but especially outdoors
• Creative play, social interaction, unstructured game opportunities and boredom spaces
Instead, in recent years, children have been filled with:
• Digitally distracted parents
• Indulgent and permissive parents who let children "rule the world" and whoever sets the rules
• A sense of right, of deserving everything without earning it or being responsible for obtaining it
• Inadequate sleep and unbalanced nutrition
• A sedentary lifestyle
• Endless stimulation, technological nannies, instant gratification and absence of boring moments
What to do?
If we want our children to be happy and healthy individuals, we have to wake up and get back to basics. It is still possible! Many families see immediate improvements after weeks of implementing the following recommendations:
• Set limits and remember that you are the captain of the ship. Your children will feel more confident knowing that you have control of the helm.
• Offer children a balanced lifestyle full of what children NEED, not just what they WANT. Don't be afraid to say "no" to your children if what they want is not what they need.
• Provide nutritious food and limit junk food.
• Spend at least one hour a day outdoors doing activities such as: cycling, walking, fishing, bird / insect watching
• Enjoy a daily family dinner without smartphones or distracting technology.
• Play board games as a family or if children are very small for board games, get carried away by their interests and allow them to rule in the game
• Involve your children in some homework or household chores according to their age (folding clothes, ordering toys, hanging clothes, unpacking food, setting the table, feeding the dog etc.)
• Implement a consistent sleep routine to ensure your child gets enough sleep. The schedules will be even more important for school-age children.
• Teach responsibility and independence. Do not overprotect them against all frustration or mistakes. Misunderstanding will help them build resilience and learn to overcome life's challenges,
• Do not carry your children's backpack, do not carry their backpacks, do not carry the homework they forgot, do not peel bananas or peel oranges if they can do it on their own (4-5 years). Instead of giving them the fish, teach them to fish.
• Teach them to wait and delay gratification.
• Provide opportunities for "boredom", since boredom is the moment when creativity awakens. Do not feel responsible for always keeping children entertained.
• Do not use technology as a cure for boredom, nor offer it at the first second of inactivity.
• Avoid using technology during meals, in cars, restaurants, shopping centres. Use these moments as opportunities to socialize by training the brains to know how to work when they are in mode: "boredom"
• Help them create a "bottle of boredom" with activity ideas for when they are bored.
• Be emotionally available to connect with children and teach them self-regulation and social skills:
• Turn off the phones at night when children have to go to bed to avoid digital distraction.
• Become a regulator or emotional trainer for your children. Teach them to recognize and manage their own frustrations and anger.
• Teach them to greet, to take turns, to share without running out of anything, to say thank you and please, to acknowledge the error and apologize (do not force them), be a model of all those values ​​you instill.
• Connect emotionally - smile, hug, kiss, tickle, read, dance, jump, play or crawl with them.
Article written by Dr. Luis Rojas Marcos Psychiatrist.

comment below please

Sunday, 22 December 2019

Be Kind -- is there a Santa Claus ?


At Christmas Time 
Found a Christmas card from you this morning Out of the blue, you gave me no warning I thought of the past, of kisses that last With a bird on the front and a tree on the back And a message inside, oh my heart you attacked With your kind words and your wishes 
And the bells began to ring and chime As I sang our song for Christmas time 
At Christmas time At Christmas time All the bells are ringing At Christmas time 
Well I thought of the day we went in to town We hustled and bustled our way through the crowd ’til we saw him, we believed in him Then we sat in a bar ’til the crowds disappeared We talked for so long, the streets had all cleared As we walked home, through the snowfall 
And the bells began to ring and chime As we sang our song for Christmas time 
At Christmas time At Christmas time All the bells are ringing At Christmas time 

So I hung up your card in a prominent place A little reminder, I picture your face Your beautiful smile, it’s been such a while But I know in my heart that wherever you are There’s a light shining from you, a magical star Guiding me home, I’m never alone 
And the bells begin to ring and chime As I sing our song for Christmas time 
At Christmas time x 4
All the bells are ringing, (at Christmas time) And everybody’s singing, (at Christmas time) All the bells are ringing, (at Christmas time) And everybody’s singing, (at Christmas time) Can you hear him? I think he’s on the roof.. 

Music & Lyrics by Celine Carroll © 2019 



Be Kind. – is there a Santa Claus ?
Son: "Dad, I think I'm old enough now. Is there a Santa Claus?."
Dad: "Ok, I agree that your old enough. But before I tell you, I have a question for you. You 
see, the truth is a dangerous gift. Once you know something, you can't unknow it. Once you know the truth about Santa Claus, you will never again understand and relate to him as you do now. So my question is: Are you sure you want to know?"
Brief pause: Son: "Yes, I want to know"
Dad: "Ok, I'll tell you: Yes there is a Santa Claus" Son: "Really?" Dad: Yes, really, but he's not an old man with a beard in a red suit. That's just what we tell kids. You see, kids are too young to understand the true nature of Santa Claus, so we explain it to them in a way that they can understand. The truth about Santa Claus is that he's not a person at all; he's an idea. Think of all those presents Santa gave you over the years. I actually bought those myself. I watched you open them. And did it bother me that you didn't thank me? Of course not! In fact it gave me great pleasure. You see, Santa Claus is THE IDEA OF GIVING FOR THE SAKE OF GIVING, without thought of thanks or acknowledgement.
When I saw that Women collapse on the subway last week and called for help, I knew that she'd never know that it was me that summoned the ambulance. I was being Santa Claus when I did that."
Son: "Oh."
Dad: "So now that you know, you're part of it. You have to be Santa Claus too now. That means you can never tell a young kid the secret, and you have to help us select Santa presents for them, and most important, you have to look for opportunities to help people. Got it?"
Help each other this Christmas🎅 and...be kind 











Sunday, 15 December 2019

" To Screen, or not to Screen ? "


When the little girl pointed at the sweets at the checkout, her mother said: ‘No, they’re bad for your teeth.’ So her daughter, who was no more than two, did what small children often do at such times. She threw a tantrum.

What happened next horrified me. The embarrassed mother found her iPad in her bag and thrust it into her daughter’s hands. Peace was restored immediately.

This incident, which happened three years ago, was the first time I saw a tablet computer used as a pacifier. It certainly wasn’t the last. Since then, I’ve seen many tiny children barely able to toddle yet expertly swiping an iPad – not to mention countless teenagers, smartphone in hand, lost to the real world as they tap out texts.




Today, on average, children spend five to six hours a day staring at screens. And they’re often on two or more screens at once – for example, watching TV while playing on an iPad.
Because technology moves so fast, and children have embraced it so quickly, it’s been difficult for parents to control it. And when it comes to spending a childhood in front of a screen, this generation are like lab rats. The long-term impact is not known.



Few know that the late Apple boss Steve Jobs didn’t let his own children have iPads. I wish he had gone public on this as other parents might have followed suit. Because the earlier children are hooked on screens, the more difficult it is to wean them off.





This is not the only worry. It’s not just what children get up to onscreen that affects their overall development. It’s what screens displace – all the activities they’re not doing in the real world. Today’s children have far fewer opportunities for what I call ‘real play’. They are no longer learning through first-hand experiences how to be human and are much less likely to play or socialize outdoors or with others.

One of the most depressing examples of a totally screen-based childhood involved a ten-year-old in London. The overweight, pasty-faced little lad told me: ‘I sit in my room and I watch my telly and play on my computer . . . and if I get hungry I text down to my mum and she brings me up a pizza.’ The change in children’s play has happened in little more than a couple of decades. While many parents feel uneasy about all that screen-time, they haven’t tackled it as they’ve been so busy keeping up with changes in their own lives.
And anyway, it’s happening to children everywhere – so surely it can’t be bad for them?



A whole generation could grow up without the mental ability to create their own fun, devise their own games and enjoy real friendships – all because of endless screen-time.


It’s getting out and about – running, climbing, making dens and so on – that allows little children to gain physical skills. Playing ‘let’s pretend’ is a creative process requiring lots of personal input.

Real play develops initiative, problem-solving skills and many other positive traits, such as a can-do attitude, perseverance and emotional resilience. It’s vital for social skills, too. By playing together, youngsters learn to get along with other people. They discover how others’ minds work, developing empathy. And, as real play is driven by an innate desire to understand how the world works, it provides the foundation for academic learning. Real play is evolution’s way of helping children develop minds of their own – curious, problem- solving, adaptable, human minds.




Babies are born with an intense desire to learn about their world, so they’re highly motivated to interact with people and objects around them – the beginning of real play. That’s why they love it when we play silly games with them, such as peekaboo, or they manage to grasp some household object. This is what helps them develop physical co-ordination and social skills.

 ‘We cannot park our children in front of screens and expect them to develop a long attention span.’


Yet another problem with too much screen-gazing is that it doesn’t develop resilience. Real play gives children opportunities to learn how to cope with challenges for themselves. Finding how to learn from their mistakes, picking themselves up when they take a tumble and sorting out squabbles with playmates all help develop the self-confidence that makes children more emotionally resilient.


Childline warned Britain is producing deeply unhappy youngsters – sad, lonely, with low self-esteem and an increasing predilection to self-harm. The charity painted a bleak portrait of our children’s emotional state, blaming their unhappiness on social networking and cyber-bullying.







we can’t go on letting our children ‘be like everyone else’ when it’s damaging them. If the next generation is to grow up bright, balanced and healthy enough to use technology wisely, Parents need to take action. - that means limiting screen-time, spending time together as a family and making sure get children out to play. Some say children need to use technology because that’s the way the world is going. But there’s no need to give little children high-tech devices.




Sunday, 8 December 2019

The "Suspended Coffee"




On a cold, stormy winter day, an old friend invited me out for a cup of coffee.
We met by his house, and as we walked down the street, we passed by a small café with a sign hanging on their door that read: "You’re welcome in, we have suspended coffee."
"Suspended coffee?" I asked my friend. "What does that mean?"

"You've never heard of it?" my friend asked, and I shook my head. "Follow me," he told me, and we joined the line of people standing in front of the cash register.

"What can I offer you today?" The cashier asked a couple of young lawyers who were looking at the menu.

"I think we'll take three cups of coffee," one of them said. "2 now, and 1 suspended."

The cashier nodded, as if it were an ordinary order, took payment and placed two cups of hot coffee on the counter. The two thanked him, took the two cups and left without waiting for the third.
The next in line was an older couple.

"Same order as always?" The cashier smiled at them. "Yes, thank you," replied the woman. "But please add two suspended coffees, we haven’t purchased any of those in a while."

A few minutes later the couple received their order, and our turn to order arrived.

"Good Morning!" Said the cashier. "How can I help you?"

"I think we'd like two cups of coffee," my friend said. "We'll drink them here."
When our order was ready, we took our cups and sat down to drink them together.

"Will you tell me what this is about?" I asked my friend, but he just said: "wait and see."

Our conversation flowed, and before we noticed it, nearly two hours passed. Our coffee cups were already empty, but we laughed at shared stories, reminisced about past memories, and didn’t look at the clock even once.
The café was almost empty of people when the door suddenly opened and a man in old shabby clothes and a tired look came in and stood quietly in front of the cash register. He thought for a moment and then asked quietly:
"Do you have a suspended coffee?"

The cashier smiled and nodded, poured the man a cup of hot coffee and placed it in front of him.

The man thanked him, took the glass and left.

No one else seemed to take notice of this moment, which appeared to be ordinary in this café, but I could not help but be moved by this little gesture.

"Anyone who wants can prepay for a cup of coffee for someone less fortunate without making them feel bad." My friend told me when he saw my expression. "The cup of coffee waits for anyone interested in it, and who knows better than us what a warm cup of coffee can do for a cold a dreary day."

When we got up to leave, I stopped for a moment and went back to the cash register.

"Can I offer you something else?" Asked the cashier.

"I just wanted to buy another cup of coffee." I took my wallet out of my pocket and put a bill on the table. "suspended, if that’s okay."
A small act of generosity on the part of one person can change another’s whole day, but often those who need it may feel uncomfortable or ashamed to ask for something that can help them. If we all look around, I'm sure we’d see at least one person that we can help. No matter how little we think we’re doing, the people who need it most will appreciate it!
This beautiful story is based on a real initiative by several cafes around the world who decided to help those who can’t buy a cup of coffee at the beginning or end of their day. There’s no doubt that this is a heart-warming gesture that we would like to see a lot more.




Friday, 6 December 2019

Hello in there ... John Prine




We had an apartment in the city
Me and Loretta liked living there
Well, it'd been years since the kids had grown
A life of their own left us alone
John and Linda live in Omaha
And Joe is somewhere on the road
We lost Davy in the Korean war
And I still don't know what for, don't matter anymore

Chorus:
Ya' know that old trees just grow stronger
And old rivers grow wilder ev'ry day
Old people just grow lonesome
Waiting for someone to say, "Hello in there, hello"

Me and Loretta, we don't talk much more
She sits and stares through the back door screen
And all the news just repeats itself
Like some forgotten dream that we've both seen
Someday I'll go and call up Rudy
We worked together at the factory
But what could I say if asks "What's new?"
"Nothing, what's with you? Nothing much to do"

[Chorus:]

So if you're walking down the street sometime
And spot some hollow ancient eyes
Please don't just pass 'em by and stare
As if you didn't care, say, "Hello in there, hello"

Sunday, 24 November 2019

The Back Nine






The Back Nine –  


You know, .. time has a way of moving quickly and catching you unaware of the passing years. It seems just yesterday that I was young, just married and embarking on my new life with my mate. Yet in a way, it seems like eons ago and I wonder where all the years went. I know that I lived them all. I have glimpses of how it was back then and of all my hopes and dreams. But, here it is.. The Back Nine of my life and it catches me by surprise.

How did I get here so fast? Where did the years go and where did my youth go?

I remember well seeing older people through the years and thinking that those older people were years away from me and that I was only on the first hole and the back nine was so far off that I could not fathom it or even imagine fully what it would be like.

But, here it is...my friends are retired, getting grey, ... they move slower and when I see an older person now, some are in better and some worse shape than me...but, I see the great change....not like the ones that I remember who were young and vibrant, .. but like me, their age is beginning to show and we are now those older folks that we used to see and never thought we'd become.

Each day now, I find that just getting a shower is a real target for the day! And taking a nap is not a treat anymore... it's mandatory! Cause if I don't on my own free will.. I just fall asleep where I sit! 

So, if you're not on the Back Nine yet...let me remind you, that it will be here faster than you think. So, whatever you would like to accomplish in your life, please do it quickly!  Don't put things off too long!! Life goes by quickly. So, do what you can today, as you can never be sure whether you're on the back nine or not!

You have no promise that you will see all the seasons of your life...so, live for today and say all the things that you want your loved ones to remember...and hope that they appreciate and love you for all the things that you have done for them in all the years past!!

"Life" is a gift to you.   The way you live your life is your gift to those who come after. Make it a fantastic one.






Sunday, 17 November 2019

A question for you - why are you here ?




A question for you: Why are you here?    
 I mean, Why are you living? Have you ever contemplated that?  “What’s the reason I’m here, living this life? What do I want out of this life? What do I want to do? What do I want to experience? Why?    ”We’re all so busy with the everyday work –we live a fast-paced life with endless to-do lists and obligations. And with our phones and the internet, there’s an abundance of distractions that the noise never stops. The only time we get a break is if we make time to rest. And a lot of us miss even that. So what’s the point? Why are we doing so much? To get some perspective, let’s consider this: At the end of your life, how would you want to look back at your life? How would you want to feel? The truth is…You probably wouldn’t be thinking: “I should have been more productive. Or I should have worked more.” You probably could care less about whether you were good enough or doing enough. More likely … You’d be appreciating all the small moments where you truly felt alive and wishing you could have had more of those. 

With this in mind, take some time to remember why you’re here.         Don’t forget the things that truly matter.
 Live your life the way you want to, for yourself & not others.
Live life to the fullest.
Experience all that you can experience.
Find your zest for life.Your passion.Your adventure.Your light.
Have the courage to FEEL with all your heart –the sadness and the joy.
Feel everything.That is your GIFT as a human being.
Spend time with the ones you love.Tell them you love them.Laugh with them.Learn from them.Have fun!
Experience all the joys that life has to offer.
 Let yourself be truly happy in this current moment.
 Appreciate all the things you have to be grateful for. 
Do what makes you come alive. 


You are the most beautiful when you are fully ALIVE, beaming and excited for life. Think of those moments when life is fun and worth living. Be intentional about creating more of those moments, as often as possible. Infuse them into your everyday. That is why you’re here. To come alive, to feel alive, to live a life worth living. So - Rock on!




Sunday, 10 November 2019

" November we Remember " - " Supermarket Flowers"





 "Supermarket Flowers"

I took the supermarket flowers from the windowsill
I threw the day-old tea from the cup
Packed up the photo album Matthew had made
Memories of a life that's been loved

Took the "Get Well Soon" cards and stuffed animals
Poured the old ginger beer down the sink
Dad always told me, "Don't you cry when you're down"
But, mom, there's a tear every time that I blink

Oh, I'm in pieces. It's tearing me up but I know
A heart that's broke is a heart that's been loved

So, I'll sing Hallelujah
You were an angel in the shape of my mum
When I fell down you'd be there holding me up
Spread your wings as you go
And when God takes you back
He'll say, "Hallelujah, you're home"

I fluffed the pillows, made the beds, stacked the chairs up
Folded your nightgowns neatly in a case
John said he'd drive, then put his hand on my cheek
And wiped a tear from the side of my face

And I hope that I see the world as you did 'cause I know
A life with love is a life that's been lived

So, I'll sing Hallelujah
You were an angel in the shape of my mum
When I fell down you'd be there holding me up
Spread your wings as you go, when God takes you back
He'll say, "Hallelujah, you're home"

Hallelujah
You were an angel in the shape of my mum
You got to see the person I have become
Spread your wings and I know
That when God took you back, he said, "Hallelujah, you're home"
Ed Sheeran

Supermarket Flowers tells a story of bereavement which many people felt they could relate to. The lyrics speak of ‘a life that’s been lived’ and someone spreading their wings and being taken back by God.

Because he uses the word mum in the song, many people wondered if it was actually about her.


However, in an interview , Ed explained, That’s the most special song on the record for me. My grandmother was very ill during the time I was making the record and passed away at the end of me making the record, so we wrote this song as a tribute to his grandmother. He says that he originally was unsure about whether to include Supermarket Flowers on the album, but at his grandmother’s funeral, his grandfather asked him if he would




Forgiveness

  Forgiveness  My father once said, “If they hurt you, forgive them, but never forget what they’ve done.” This has always been a reminder ...