Drugs – What’s it like ?
“I remember before I tried heroin, I asked people
what it was like. They said “it’s like a burst of energy, a rush that takes
your breath, it’s the best feeling ever, I don’t know how to explain it really.
It's like a really strong pain pill, but you'll be nodding off’ And they were
right, but now if someone were to ever ask me what it’s like, I would tell
them.
‘It’s like spending every single penny you ever
had, on drugs.
It’s like going days without eating even though you
were starving, but you needed dope more.
It’s like having to lie to every family and friend
you had ever had.
It’s like waking up hating yourself from the shame
and guilt.
It’s like going into withdrawals every 8 hours
unless you had more dope to do. (And you usually didn’t)
It’s like never attending any family event because
you were too high or too sick.
It’s like everyone eventually stopped inviting you
to events. And even talking to you.
It's like crying yourself to sleep every single
night because your children got taken.
It’s like knowing you have one more chance to get
better before your child gets adopted and still choosing that bag.
It's like asking others how your own blood child is
doing.
It's watching everyone around you succeed and yet
you’re crumbling.
It’s like everything was on your drug dealers time.
If they said five hours. You’ll wait five hours in a car.
It’s like stealing everything worth value for dope.
No matter how sentimental it was to you, or someone else.
It’s like losing so much weight you can’t fit into
any of your clothes.
It’s like losing everything you’ve ever owned in
your entire life.
It’s like nobody believing a word you said, even if
it was the truth.
It’s like being a prisoner inside your own head.
It’s like contemplating suicide every single day.
It’s like never being scared to die, because that’s
what you wanted.
It’s like trying to shut your brain up for even
five minutes. It was worth that little time of peace.
It’s like seeing your family cry for you to stop,
only for you to leave and go get high. Because stopping wasn’t an option. It
wasn’t possible.
It’s like you’d do absolutely anything for more.
And you did.
It’s like everyone hating you no matter where you
went, because they knew you were a drug addict.
You'll miss out on your
children and they'll be grown before you Know it. You'd kill for your child and
do any and everything for them yet you won't be able to get clean for them and we
actually turn out to be the ones who hurt them the most.
It’s like overdosing and going to get high right
after.
It’s like walking into rehab 100 pounds with the
clothes on your back and being scared to death.
It’s like giving your ENTIRE LIFE AWAY.
So if you’re ever curious
like I was, please at least know the truth. CURIOSITY KILLED THE CAT, and it
WILL KILL YOU TOO”
One Man’s Story : “ I will zip you up “
"My daughter was clean for just over a year
from using heroin.
She kicked the dragon square in the balls and I
didn’t think she was ever gonna look back for it.
She promised me that she’s NEVER going back to H -
She said “Daddy, I don’t want to go back to that
stuff ever again”.
I remind her what I told her at the Narcan meeting:
“If you can’t kick the dragon for good I will be
the one to zip you up, but I will be with you every step of the way when you
need me”.
I don’t know why she didn’t call me like she
promised.
It hurts so bad that she didn’t call.
Now before you get all pissy with me for saying
that I will zip her up, You have got to understand my daughter’s and my relationship.
It’s a loving relationship that shines.
I would ALWAYS be there to bail her out of whatever
she got herself into, but now here I was, a father who was desperate for my
daughter NEVER TO USE AGAIN and didn’t know how else to put it.
I thought the Love she had for me would keep her
from going back to that drug ever again.
Well, that didn’t happen.
At 5:50 pm I got the call from the Det at Eastlake
Police that my daughter was found dead in her bed from an overdose.
I immediately fell to my knees in the snow and
began to cry like a baby.
I could not believe that my Tigger had done this.
I tell the Det that I am on my way and got there in
record time.
STOP READING HERE cause it’s going to be very
descriptive.
Just stop here and know I love her and kept my word
to her.
... but on the other hand I need everyone to
understand how very bad this shit is so you NEVER have to experience what we
are right now.
I walked up the stairs to her room and there was
Karisten sitting in her bed.
She had hit such an lethal dose that when she went
into a hemorrhaging arrest that she sat up from her pillows she was propped on
in her bed, had her arms straight out with a slight bend at the elbow, fists
clenched, with her thumbs tucked under her fingers grasping so tight at what
looked like she was trying to grab life back in her.
She was all blue faced,veins out, had a little
blood from her nose and her teeth were so tight together that her mouth
wouldn’t open.
I was told I couldn’t touch my daughter in case
there was any lethal powder still on her.
I ask for gloves and glove up cause I’ll be damned
if I’m not going to help my daughter One last time or hug her and let her know
I Love her.
Well, I kept my word and spread the bag out and
carefully placed her in it to say goodbye to her so they can find out what it
was that she took.
I zipped her up in her body bag and helped them
carefully place her on the cot.
I’m not looking for pity or trolling for comments.
I just want ALL of you to know that no matter who
you are or what you do or how perfect you think someone is, that this Heroin
shit can come into anybody’s life and destroy it.
Do not be blind to this.
AND DO NOT LET THIS DRUG FOOL YOU!!!
Please, please, please, wrap your arms around your
loved ones and let them know how much you care and love them, because tomorrow
is never guaranteed and I urge you all to share this message.
Maybe, just maybe, it’ll help another family.
Rest easy, Karisten Lyn Shermann.
I miss you so much, my heart is broken, and I LOVE
YOU so very very much."
Credit: Tim Sherman
Hurt
I hurt myself
today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears
a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything
What have I
become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could
have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
I wear this
crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the
stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I'm still right here
What have I
become? …
If I could start
again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way
Here is the
link:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AHCfZTRGiI&list=RDEMNfF3HO0OImv4t7q2MRZtWw&start_radio=1
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